Break Me, Take Me
by blumedusa
Summary: Having been crushed by Sebatian, Grell doesn't know what to do. Does the butler really not feel anything for the scarlet-headed reaper? Or does he? WARNING: rated M for graphic self-hurt and possible sexual themes later on. R&R please! COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Break me, take me

Grell faced the wooden doors and knocked. After a few seconds, the door opened and he stepped inside. He gazed, in slight wonder, at how fine the interior of the mansion really was. A low voice shook him from his thoughts "Welcome, Grell". Grell turned to face Sebastian; his stomach tightened "Sebby-chan" he replied, his voice just a bit too unsteady for his liking. Wordlessly, Sebastian turned, walking down a small hallway that grell hadn't noticed since it had been hidden by the open door; He followed Sebastian down the dimly lit hallway. As he walked, Grell couldn't help but let his mind wander back to all those nights when he had fantasized about all the things he wanted to do to Sebastian, and all the things he wanted Sebastian to do to him. "Whoa" he thought to himself, "he only invited me to dinner. He doesn't feel that way. He doesn't want that". Little did grell know that the demon butler felt a certain attraction towards the reaper and that, in fact, he just may want exactly that.

As they continued down the hall and began a decent on a spiral staircase, Sebastian thought back to hours ago, in the drawing room, when his young master first told him of Grell's arrival, "Grell's coming tonight. Entertain him." As Sebastian led the reaper to his room, he wondered if what he knew would happen would fall under the category of entertaining or not. They finally reached a wooden door with a metal lock in place; Sebastian drew out a key from his pocket and unlocked the door. As the door swung inward, revealing yet another hallway, Sebastian grabbed grell by the wrist and pulled him behind the door, pushing it shut behind them. Grell's breath hitched; Sebastian, his face a mere inches from his own, had a small smirk playing about his lips while the lights in his eyes, reflected from the candles on the wall, danced about enchantingly. They stood there for what felt like hours to both of them when Sebastian suddenly straightened up and began walking down the corridor to yet another door, this one also made of wood but with no lock. Sebastian lightly pushed the door open, revealing what Grell realized to be, Sebastian's bedroom. As the door was opened for him, Grell was rooted to the floor, made speechless by the sight before him. He had expected a dungeon-like room but the sight that lay before his eyes was almost the exact opposite-warm, rich colors decorated the walls while a plain white blanket covered Sebastian's bed. An involuntary shiver ran down Grell's spine as fantasies flooded his mind, making his pants much tighter. Wordlessly Sebastian produced a tea set-the kettle steaming with hot tea- and some cake. They ate on the couch on the opposite side of the room in silence except for the occasional cough or the sound of china hitting china as a teacup was put back down. Suddenly, Sebastian asked "So Grell, as you are a phantomhive guest it is my duty to ask what you would like to do." Grell, not wanting to give his desires away just yet replied "I don't know Sebby, whatever you would like." Immediately he regretted his words. Sebastian-also not wanting to give away his feelings for the reaper-promptly kicked him out-quite literally. It pained the demon to do so but he could not be made a fool of. Should Grell not feel the same way, Sebastian would never forgive himself. So instead he ushered the butler to the door and, as Grell was walking out, Sebastian kicked him, so that he fell out of the manor. Getting up and dusting himself off, Grell began to walk away, staring strait ahead but seeing nothing, as if in a trance as grief washed over him.

As grell walked home, tears filled his eyes. "Why didn't I tell him?" he thought to himself. He got home, went to his room, stripped, grabbed a small box and went to the bathroom. Now, despite his seemingly flamboyant personality, grell was a very emotionally troubled man. In his eyes, the one man he truly loved had just kicked him to the curb forever. Opening the box, grell took out the one thing that had stayed with him all these years, his knife. He looked down at his arms, sides and legs, all covered in scars. He picked up the knife, pressed the tip against his thigh and dragged upwards, blood instantly pooling at the wound, pain racing through his nerves, adrenaline rushing in his body and the blood started to run. Over and over Grell slashed himself, each time more blood dripping down his body, making the knife slide in his hand, slick with blood. Soon his thighs, wrists and ribs were spilling blood. Again and again the knife rose, pierced and dragged along Grell's flesh. Left, right, up, and down he pulled, the feeling of the knife dragging across his perfect skin, cleaving it in two, did little to ease his numbness. Finally grell couldn't take it any longer. He pressed his knife against his neck and pressed down. The blade sank into his soft skin, into his vein, and the blood began to fall, flowing steadily down his body and even onto the floor. Just then he heard a bang on the bathroom door. Fear and a glimmer of hope ran through him, grell managed to choke out the words "w-w-who is it?" A low voice, almost a whisper, answered "merely one hell of a butler".

Grell's face drained of what little color there was left in it. He did NOT want Sebastian seeing him like this. But what could he do? He had no escape. "Don't come in Sebby," he cried out, but it was too late. The butler managed to break the lock on the bathroom door and open it. Both men stood there, rooted to the spot, one white and shocked, one frozen and terrified. Sebastian only managed to choke out one word "G-g-g-grell?"


	2. Chapter 2

Sebastian stood there, white faced, his eyes the size of saucers as he took in the scene before him.

"Grell?" Grell tried to hide his face under his hair but to no avail.

"Just go away!" He half sobbed, half screamed at the demon standing in his bathroom doorway.

"Why grell? Why do this?"

"Because of you"

"Me?"

"Yes, you. You break my heart Sebastian. I love you" Grell made sure to put as much emphasis as possible on those last three words.

Sebastian's face went through a series of expressions, finally settling on sadness.

"Grell". Sebastian walked into the small bathroom. Grell backed away, hitting the wall behind him.

"Sit". Sebastian commanded. Grell, having no strength left in him to argue, sat down on the closed toilet, blood still oozing from his deeper wounds. Sebastian pulled out from his pocket, gauze, medical tape, rubbing alcohol, and a small sheet of what looked like white fabric sticking to the paper. He knelt before Grell, took one of his legs in his hand. Sebastian proceeded to clean Grell's leg then he took some of the sticky white fabric and placed it in little strips across the deeper gashes, holding them closed. He then bandaged Grell's thigh. As he began working on Grell's other leg, he spoke:

"Grell" He repeated.

"I never thought I would hear you say those words. You always seem so flamboyant that I couldn't tell if you were playing with me or not. I never thought you had actual feelings for me". Sebastian finished bandaging Grell's other leg and started cleaning up his ribs. Grell hissed when the alcohol came in contact with his skin and shut his eyes tight in pain. He stayed like that while Sebastian first cleansed his gashes, and then applied the sticky fabric to almost all of his cuts-Grell made his deepest cuts on his ribs. Sebastian finished putting on and taping the gauze on Grell's ribs and paused for a minute to look at Grell's face, still contorted in pain. He took Grell's hand in his own and cleaned then dressed the cuts. When he was finished, Grell finally opened his eyes and looked down at Sebastian, still on his knees, holding Grell's one hand in both of his.

"Grell, I love you too". After what seemed like hours, Sebastian reached up and cupped Grell's face, now soaked with tears.

"I never wanted to hurt you yet here I am cleaning you up after you almost tried to take your life because of me. Promise me you will never to that again".

"If you're with me Sebby, I promise".

"Then it's settled".

They stayed like that for several minutes. Sebastian standing, holding Grell's hand and cupping his face while Grell remained seated on the toilet lid, looking up into Sebastian's eyes. Finally Grell spoke,

"Sebastian?"

"Yes Grell"

"Will you be mine?"

"I already am"

Grell pulled his hands from Sebastian's only to cup Sebastian's face and kiss him with as much passion and love as he could muster considering his current state. It was thrilling! To finally be kissing the man he loved sent his heart beating uncontrollably. Even more so when he felt Sebastian kiss him back with equal passion. Both men moaned into the kiss when they felt the others passion and only broke apart because of their serious need of air. Gently Sebastian scooped Grell up bridal style and carried him to his bedroom. Sebastian laid Grell on his bed and lay down next to him. Grell wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck and pulled him in for another scorching kiss. Grell tried to pull Sebastian on top of him but Sebastian pulled away.

"Aww Sebbs why not?" the reaper asked.

"Because you're seriously injured and need to rest"

" Fine. But once I'm healed Sebastian, there'll be no stopping me".

Sebastian gave him a reassuring look before giving him one last kiss and heading out the door.

Several months passed and each man went about his regular routine-trying their best to make time for the other-Grell went about reaping with only one questioning from Will and Sebastian managed to convince Ceil that someone merely tried to attack him and that's why he first appeared in Ceil's office with blood on his sleeves. Exactly six months after Grell's little "incident", the two men were in Grell's house, having dinner that Grell specially cooked himself-turned out he was quite a good cook. After dinner they moved to Grell's bedroom and lay side by side talking about recent events in each of their lives.

"Grell?" Sebastian suddenly looked, if possible, slightly nervous.

"This may be sudden but," Sebastian rolled off of Grell's bed and kneeled on the floor, facing Grell.

"Will you marry me?"

Grell practically threw himself off the bed, wincing in pain because he forgot about his wounds.

"Yes Sebastian! Yes!"

This time it was Grell who took Sebastian's face in his hands and kissed him for all he was worth. Finally Sebastian scooped Grell up yet again, laid him back on his bed, bade him goodnight and was gone. Grell was beside himself with happiness. After all this time Sebastian was finally his forever!

R&R if you want me to continue! Also, I would love ideas for the next chapter-which is going to be SMEXY YAOI SMUT!


	3. Chapter 3

Sebastian, after explaining the situation to Ceil and hearing nothing but a "fine" from said bochan, Sebastian went to his room and lay on his bed, thinking about what just happened. "Married" he thought to himself, the idea scared him a little but he realized he didn't mind. After all, it was he who proposed. Grell, meanwhile, had fallen asleep in a state of utter bliss, dreaming of him and his Sebastian together forever.

A few weeks, many preparations, and a fretful bride later, Sebastian stood at the makeshift altar in the Phantomhive Manor awaiting his "wife"-to-be. Grell entered the room and walked down the isle that had been made for the occasion. Dressed in a long red gown slashed with black that hung so it hugged his slight curves, red heels and his long red hair pulled back in a simple ponytail, Grell walked to Sebastian. Undertaker stood and began conducting the ceremony, which went by quickly. Afterwards the newlyweds celebrated in the hall of the manor. Music filled the room while food was laid out on a long table. A few people mingled about, congratulating the men and talking amongst themselves. Bu dusk all the guests had gone home and the messes cleaned up. Grell returned to his house to pack for their honeymoon, they were leaving in the morning. Although he was mostly packed already, Grell snuck in a few choice outfits last minute; however, much to his dismay, Sebastian slept at Phantomhive Manor that night. Morning came, bringing with it a very excited grell to the manor doors. Sebastian was waiting for him and once they had their things, went off in a carriage, leaving Ceil and the rest to take care of themselves for a few days.

Sebastian had planned their honeymoon with out Grell's knowing so, as Grell leaned back against the cushions, his mind began to wonder where Sebastian was taking him. After some time, the carriage stopped and Sebastian got out and extended his hand towards Grell. Grell took the offered hand, stepped down from the carriage and gasped. Grell's eyes widened in surprise as he took in the scene before him; they were at the beach, but this was a part of the beach Grell never knew about. Looking to his left, he saw a sigh reading "To Hot spring" with an arrow pointing to a short pathway and an enclosed area with steam rising from above the surrounding gate. Grell almost fainted on the spot. He could see a small cottage on the beach and it was not very far from the hot spring either. Upon seeing his delight Sebastian leaned and kissed Grell on the cheek.

"We have the whole place to ourselves." He whispered in Grell's ear in a suggestive tone, Grell shivered as images of him and Sebastian flooded his mind. Sebastian picked up his bag and began walking towards the house, Grell soon following behind. They made their way to the cottage and Sebastian unlocked the door with a key he produced seemingly out of nowhere. They entered to find it elegant yet comfortable and simple. To Grell's delight, he realized that there was an abnormally large bed in the bedroom and lots of storage space. As he and Sebastian began to unpack, Grell, unnoticed by his lover, slipped several "choice items" into a little hidden drawer on the side of the bed. After unpacking Sebastian and Grell made their way to the beach to enjoy themselves, Grell was very excited about getting to see Sebastian's flawless chest dripping water, his hair clinging to his face-lets face it, Grell was getting horny just thinking about this. They reached the water and dove right in. The water was the perfect temperature and crystal clear, with a little fish swimming by every now and then and nothing could be heard except for the gentle sound of waves hitting the shore. Grell snuck up behind Sebastian and pressed himself against the man. Sebastian stiffened at the contact but quickly realized he could use this to his advantage. Smirking a bit, he pressed back into Grell, making sure to grind against the redhead, making him let out a little moan. Sebastian turned to face Grell and brought their bodies' close. Leaning slightly so their faces were centimeters apart, Sebastian saw the pure love and lust in Grell's eyes. Grell, on the other hand, couldn't stand not doing anything any longer and brought their lips together while winding one arm around the demons neck and the other, around Sebastian's waist, pulling him closer.

Winding one hand through the demons hair and wrapping the other around his waist, Grell deepened the kiss, snaking his tongue to Sebastian's lips, which opened almost instantly. A fight for dominance began as their tongues danced wildly, making both men moan into the kiss. Sebastian ground his hips into Grell, feeling the bulge of his growing arousal. Grell hissed at the contact and pressed himself against Sebastian. Both men were incredibly turned at this point and it took all of Sebastian's will power to break the kiss. Grell couldn't keep the disappointment from showing up on his face, but it was quickly replaced with a grin as Sebastian scooped him up bridal style (how very fitting) and almost ran back to the cottage, still carrying a dripping Grell, Sebastian wasn't much drier himself. They got to the house and Sebastian rushed to the bedroom, flinging Grell onto the bed. He then went into the bathroom, got two towels and returned to the still soaked Grell. Sebastian put one of the towels on the bed and with the other towel, began to dry himself off. Grell's eyes widened as Sebastian began what seemed almost like a strip tease, although he was drying himself off. Sebastian rubbed the towel up and down his torso and arms, slightly swaying his hips in the process. Moving lower, he began to dry his legs, slowly dragging the towel up each shapely leg, making Grell let out a little moan. When he was done, Sebastian took the other towel and began to dry Grell. He took Grell's leg and slowly rubbed the towel up and down it, then did the same to the other leg. By now Grell was sporting a semi-erection and Sebastian did not ignore this fact. With a small smirk on his lips, Sebastian began to make his way up Grell's torso with the towel, pausing to lightly pinch each of Grell's nipples, causing him to arch into the touch.

Finally Sebastian decided he wanted more and so, he jumped on top of Grell, straddling him and claiming his lips once more, while at the same time, grinding against the man moaning beneath him. This was too much for Sebastian to handle, and apparently, too much for his painfully erect manhood to handle either. After quickly prepping Grell so as to not hurt him, Sebastian lined himself up and pushed into the man. Both men groaned instantly at the feeling and as Sebastian began to thrust into him, Grell began to moan uncontrollably. Thrusting faster, Sebastian moaned as he felt Grell pushing hips back to meet every one of Sebastian's thrusts. Sebastian leaned over and kissed Grell with more passion than even the demon himself had ever thought he was capable of feeling. Grell kissed him back with an equal amount of passion and, as Sebastian-after feeling himself as well as Grell nearing their climaxes, arched his entire body into Sebastian's, fully becoming one with the man he loved. They came simultaneously, and after Sebastian collapsed on top of Grell.

Grell whispered into Sebastian's ear, "wow Sebby, that was amazing."

Sebastian rolled off of Grell and lay beside him, looking into the reapers eyes. He replied, "I am glad you are happy Grell. I love you and I am sorry that I didn't realize it sooner, I would have saved you so much pain."

Grell smiled and said, "I love you too Sebastian. What else can I say? You break me, you take me, heart and soul, I'm yours."


End file.
